4 Months – Oliver

Weight:  12 lbs 9 oz (3rd percentile)

Height:  23.75″ (4th percentile)

Medical Issues:  None at this time.

Sleep:  Daytime – naps anywhere from 30 mins to 2 hours now.  

Nighttime – bedtime is 7-7:30pm.  He is usually up for one bottle somewhere been 3-4 am then up again around 6-7am.

Clothing Size:  3 Months

Diaper Size:  Size 1

Diet:  Formula (Similac Total Comfort). Another month of not really having any eating patterns.  For a few weeks it was 6 bottles a day between 3-4 oz then a few days before he turned 4 months he started eating a little more.  This ties into his 5 month update so I’ll go into more detail when I post that one.

Baby Gear Love:  Carseat/Stroller (it puts him to sleep), bouncer, infantino carrier, mirror, pack and play for activity mat.

Milestones/Firsts:  So close on rolling over and laughing but as of 4 months hasn’t officially done either.  Oh, he’s holding onto toys now!

Likes:  Baths, activity gym, mirrors, sitting upright on our laps, mommy, daddy and sister.

Dislikes:  Getting dressed after bath time.  Waiting more than a min or 2 for a bottle.  

Things I Don’t Want to Forget:  I went back to work one day before he turned 4 months old.  He started daycare the day before that.  I hate it.  I hate that I only see a couple hours a day that he’s not sleeping.  I want all the weekend cuddles now.

What’s Next? Lots of changes for the next 2 updates including mommy’s very emotional first week back at work!  Baptism on 4/15 out in South Dakota.  Two weeks after that we will be heading to IL for my dad’s 60th birthday.  

Oliver – 16 Weeks

Feeding:  Similac Total Comfort (fortified to 24 calories/ounce)
3.0 -5.0 oz between 6 bottles/day.

Daily total is about 19-24 ounces which equals 22.8-28.8 oz.  He’s consistently taking 3 or 4 oz now.  Once in a blue moon he takes closer to 5.  Yesterday the pediatrician said that’s where he needs to be to gain weight and he is gaining.

Weight:  12 lbs 3 oz (up 6 oz from last week.

Sleep:  Daytime naps are still crap and this worries me about him starting daycare soon.

His longest naps are on me by far.  Just not a feasible situation for daycare.  Naps in the bouncer, swing or rock and play are 30-60 mins.

Night is still pretty consistent.  Generally takes his last bottle between 7-7:30 and is asleep by 8pm.  He wakes up between 5-6am most mornings.  

We started transitioning out of the swaddle this past weekend.  He’s done 3 nights with 1 arm out and only woke up at 2am on one of those nights.  Monday night we started with one arm out and he wouldn’t go to sleep so I bit the bullet and put both arms out.  Success!  He slept his typical 10 hours.  I think this will be easier than I originally anticipated!

Weeks left of maternity leave:  1.  Last week.  I want to cry.  

Mommy Update: I hate that this is my last week of leave.

Looking forward to:  giggles and rolling over!  He’s so close going from back to belly!

Mackenzie GI Specialist Appt

After 2 months of waiting, Mackenzie had her GI specialist appointment yesterday.  

They put her on the scale and she weighed in at 20 pounds 3 ounces.  That’s a 4 ounce gain since 12/20, ouch.  She’s now 31.5 inches tall.  

The doctor was great.  Good with Mackenzie and very thorough even with my barrage of questions.  He asked us quite a few questions about her diet and poop.  

He took a look at Oliver’s growth chart too when I expressed concern about weight gain and said depending on what he finds with Mackenzie if he needs to he will address it with Oliver too.

He then did an exam on Mackenzie which she tolerated very well. 

He decided some more lab work is needed.   Even though our pediatrician tested for celiac disease the GI doc said that what he tested isn’t necessarily conclusive in kids 2 and under and there are more sensitive blood tests to check for other markers. Because her stools are mostly loose and stinky he’s also doing a stool test in fat absorption since she’s not gaining what she should be. He will also be checking the function of her pancreas.  Now we are just waiting for her to poop so I can get that to the lab for testing.

She was a trooper for the blood draw!  She wanted to sit in the chair all by herself.  One nurse held the arm that the other nurse was drawing blood from and I held the other.  She watched the needle the entire time but sat still.  She did cry and afterwards said many times “arm hurt” but I was so proud of her!

Here’s the exact tests he’s doing:

  1. Blood:  Endomysial antibody, IgA titer.
  2. Blood:  Gliadin antibody, IgA
  3. Blood:  Sedimentation rate 
  4. Stool:  Fecal Fat, Qualitative
  5. Stool:  Occult Blood
  6. Stool:  Pancreative Elastase 1 (PE1)

If the lab work comes back normal then he’s going to put her on cyproheptadine to stimulate her appetite.  It’s an allergies medication but he said it’s also used on kids with a lower dosage as an appetite stimulant.  At that point he will also schedule her for an upper GI endoscopy and take biopsies to rule out any GI causes for her poor weight gain and loose stools.

After all of that if he is unable to find anything he will be referring us to an endocrinologist for a workup.

We should have the results of all the lab work in the next week and go from there.

Oliver – 15 Weeks

​Feeding:  Similac Total Comfort (fortified to 24 calories/ounce)

3.0 -5.0 oz between 6 bottles/day.

Daily total is about 19-24 ounces which equals 22.8-28.8 oz.  He’s consistently taking 3 or 4 oz now.  Once in a blue moon he takes closer to 5.  Yesterday the pediatrician said that’s where he needs to be to gain weight and he is gaining.

Weight:  11 lbs 13 oz (up 3.5 oz from last week)

Sleep:  Daytime naps are still crap and this worries me about him starting daycare soon.

His longest naps are on me by far.  Just not a feasible situation for daycare.  Naps in the bouncer, swing or rock and play are 30-60 mins.

Night is still pretty consistent.  Generally takes his last bottle between 7-7:30 and is asleep by 8pm.  He wakes up between 5-6am most mornings.  

We started transitioning out of the swaddle this past weekend.  He’s done 3 nights with 1 arm out and only woke up at 2am on one of those nights.  Monday night we started with one arm out and he wouldn’t go to sleep so I bit the bullet and put both arms out.  Success!  He slept his typical 10 hours.  I think this will be easier than I originally anticipated!

Weeks left of maternity leave:  2.  Only 2 more weeks.  Part of me is very sad about this but part of me is looking forward to going back to work.  I’m not meant to be a SAHM.  I love my kids dearly but I need more adult interaction!

Mommy update:  Still feeling frazzled this week.  My house is a mess and I just can’t seem to make any progress on it.  Oliver is content for small periods of time in the pack and play under his activity mat but I can’t make much progress on anything that takes more than 10-15 mins.  When all of us are home Mackenzie clings to me so that makes it challenging to accomplish anything.  I only have 2 more weeks at home with this little guy so I’m just going to embrace it while I can.

Looking forward to:  giggles and rolling over!  He’s so close going from back to belly!

Oliver -14 Weeks

​Feeding:  Similac Total Comfort (fortified to 24 calories/ounce)

2.0-5.0 oz every 2-3 hours during the day and one night feeding.

Daily total is about 19-24 ounces which equals 22.8-28.8 oz.  I’ll be honest, this is frustrating and I keep asking myself what I’m doing wrong.

Weight:  11 lbs 9.5 oz (up 7.5 oz from last week)

Sleep:  Daytime naps are crap.  This kiddo won’t nap more than 30-60 mins at a time no matter where I put him.  He did nap 3 hours in a row on me yesterday though.

Night is still pretty consistent.  Generally takes his last bottle between 7-7:30 and is asleep by 8pm.  He wakes up between 5-6am most mornings.  Today was 4:15am.

Weeks left of maternity leave:  3.  It’s coming to an end.  I’m trying to enjoy it.  The weather this week is gorgeous and it will be in the 60’s by Friday so we’re going to get out of the house and go for some walks.

Mommy update:  I was supposed to have wrist surgery last week but it got cancelled and I’m not going to go into details of why.  Thankfully it’s not bugging me as much so unless it really flares up again I’m not going to pursue surgery after all.  I will say that I was having second thought anyways as now I’m paranoid about going under and not waking back up.  I can’t stand the idea of no longer being here for my kids.

To be completely honest I’m feeling a bit frazzled these days.  Oliver’s eating issues and the fact he’s more fussy now stress me out.  Mackenzie has been a terror at times that also stresses me out.  I need some patience when it comes to my kids crying and screaming.  Really I just need some mommy time but that won’t be happening anytime soon.  I feel guilty for even thinking that.  I mean Mackenzie goes to daycare most days as it is.  I have one kid to tend to until 4-5pm at night and they’re both in bed by 8pm.  I get 8-10 hours to myself which of course most is sleeping.  Maybe going back to work will help with some of this. I don’t know.

Looking forward to:  warmer weather and giggles!

3 Months – Oliver

Weight:  11 lbs 2 oz (3rd percentile) as of 2/6.
Height:  Will be measured at 4 months.

Medical Issues:  Weight gain issues.  More below on that.

Sleep:  Daytime – naps anywhere from 30 mins to 2 hours now.  Usually 30-60 mins at most and maybe 1 two hour nap.  I’m still trying to figure out some sort of routine for this.  

Nighttime – bedtime has been moved up to 7/7:30pm and it’s been amazing.  He sleeps 10 hours straight pretty consistently.  We get up for the first bottle at 5:30am.

Clothing Size:  3 Months

Diaper Size:  Size 1

Diet:  Formula (Similac Total Comfort). This last month has been a crap shoot when it comes to the amount Oliver will eat.  After his 2 month shots he really started eating less and fighting bottles.  I took him in on 1/23 and he had only gained 5oz so we upped the calorie content of his bottles from 20 cal / ounce to 22 cal /ounce.  We went back in on 2/6 and he had gained 7 oz so we upped the calorie content of his bottles from 22 cal / ounce to 24 cal / ounce. 

We go back on 2/20 for another weight check.  If he’s still not gaining what he should be then the next step is to start waking him in the middle of the night for a bottle.  I hope we don’t get to that point.  I love that he sleeps 10 hours straight.

This last week he has been taking 3-4 oz 6x a day.  One night he took a 5.5 oz bottle so I know he can take a bigger bottle if he wants it.

Baby Gear Love:  Carseat/Stroller (it puts him to sleep), rock and play for naps, pack and play for activity mat (up and away from the dog), bassinet for sleeping in our room.

Milestones/Firsts:  Tons of cooing this month!  

Likes:  Baths, activity gym, sitting upright on our laps, mommy, daddy and sister!

Dislikes:  Getting dressed after bath time.  Waiting more than a min or 2 for a bottle.  

Things I Don’t Want to Forget:  Oliver is still pretty easy going but he has started having some evening fussiness.  It’s mild and usually sitting him up on my knee bouncing him helps.  He loves bath time now but just hates getting pajamas on.  

What’s Next? Hopefully giggles and rolling over.  This is my last month home with him.  I go back to work on 3/7.

Reflections On My Childhood

I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot lately but really haven’t had time to write it out.  

It dawned on me recently why I struggle with the idea of not being near my kids, even for a short period of time.

I started thinking back to my childhood and something that I had never thought of before started weighing heavily on me.  At one point in my life I didn’t live with anyone in my family.

When I was 4 my parents divorced.  I started out living with my mom but shortly after moved in with my dad and grandma instead.  I didn’t like living with my mom as her boyfriend (who was 20 years older than her) creeped me out.  I moved into my grandma’s farm house with her.  My grandma always said one day my dad showed up with me in one arm and my cat in the other.

My dad was (and still is) a truck driver.  He used to be gone a lot but now has local routes.  At one point I remember he had a trailer in the town he loaded from often and I remember visiting him there. 

So at one point my grandma has hip surgery and I was moved to her friends house down the road temporarily.  Well that friend passed away so I was moved to another friends house along with the 3 teens that I lived with.  The second house I knew well because her grandson that lived with her was a year younger than me.  

After that things get a little fuzzy for me but here’s what I think I remember.  I know I was almost 8 and had a girl scouts outing and dad was supposed to pick me up.  Grandma was there instead.  (This leads me to believe I was living back with grandma at this point).  I asked her why dad wasn’t there but she didn’t really answer me.  The next morning my dad takes me to the hospital and tells me I have a baby sister.  Yep, girlfriend knocked up.  I was too young to understand then.  I actually was excited because I always wanted a sister.

Next thing I know my dad is building a house next door to grandma’s on family land.  The 4 of us move in.  A couple years later my dad and step mom marry and 3 years after that my brother comes along (I was 14 by this point).

Because of this, I now feel I was abandoned by both my parents at one point in my life.  You can see I never went back to live with my mom during any of this.  

So what the hell happened?  I don’t know.  Clearly my parents relationships with other people were more important than their only child.  Who leaves their child to live with family friends?  Being a mom now I would NEVER do that unless I had no other choice.  The only thing that would stand in the way of me not being with my kids is inability to care for them or death.  Anything else I feel is a bullshit excuse.

So with all this weighing on my mind lately I understand why I would rather spend anytime not working with my kids.  Everyone says it’s so important to have date nights and stuff but you know what, not being away from my kids more than 8-10 hours a day is what’s important to me.  I don’t ever want my kids to think I wasn’t here for them.  

Of course now I have questions for my dad but I don’t know that I would ever ask them.  We used to be close.  We’ve drifed now.  I’m so annoyed with him enabling my siblings and barely making time for us that I just want to keep my distance.

I wish my grandma was still alive.  I would ask her and I know she’d be honest with me.  I miss her.  If it wasn’t for her I can’t even imagine how this story would be different.

So there’s that.  I hope someday my kids realize that they have parents who love them very much and never want them to feel the way I did as a child.